Vulgarity Rules A-List Contemporary Art Non-Existent At Riviera amfAR AIDS Gala

A – lister actors Leonardo DiCaprio, Dustin Hoffman, Nicole Kidman and Will Smith turned out for the amfAR AIDS benefit that is the social highlight of the Cannes film festival. The event held annually at the Eden Roc Hotel, Cap d’Antibes on the French Riviera saw celebrities and benefactors paying up to $500,000 for a table. But where was the Contemporary art on the auction block?

22 December 2016

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Artbytch 2016: Death, Fake News And A Few Bloody Good Exhibitions

Artbytch looks back on a depressing year with great exhibitions.

8 July 2016

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USA Website ArtList That Infringed UK’s Artlyst Name Closes Down

The New York based online company ArtList, not to be confused with the popular London based art information website Artlyst is to shutdown. The startup will now close shop and sink into oblivion, just a year after they were warned by lawyers in the UK that the company was infringing on Artlyst, an internationally established […]

24 June 2016

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Brexit: Expect Museums To Start Charging And Non-UK Art Prices To Skyrocket

The decision by British voters to leave the European Union has been announced – and commentators have begun the analysis, the post event combing over of where the losing campaign went wrong.  The art world thrives on interchange and currency; Britain has the third largest art market in the world, and more than 7,800 British […]

17 June 2016

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Tate’s Switch House A Dialogue Between Art And Space

It’s alarming to think that Tate Modern opened in 2000, firstly because it makes me feel super old, but also one wonders, what did we do before it was there? It’s become such a cultural behemoth in delivering international contemporary art, helped by an extraordinary spending spree to obtain significant pieces. It’s weird to think […]

10 June 2016

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Fun House: Royal Academy Summer Exhibition A Hodgepodge Of All Sorts

Ok I admit it. I’ve deliberately avoided the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition every year since I first saw it in 2007, mainly because it’s such a hodgepodge of all sorts that it somehow does much injustice to those actually exhibiting, being a big clamoring for wall space. The same happened this year, with large major works by […]

3 June 2016

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Dropping Out Like Flies In A Damien Hirst Installation

The Artlyst lystical of creative people who dropped out at uni includes some predictable names: John Lennon, Orson Welles, good old Pablo Picasso. What do these names (Yoko Ono aside) have in common? They are prodigious geniuses who excelled beyond all expectations in their fields, notably going out on a limb and pushing boundaries (god I […]

27 May 2016

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Yayoi Kusama: Turning Pumpkins Into Vuitton Bags And Airbnb Rooms

I was interested to read that Tate Modern has apparently been working in conjunction with Airbnb to provide the opportunity for renters to have Yayoi Kusama decorate a room of their choice. The implications of this are mightily tempting: your room instantly shoots up not only in interest among potential punters, but monetary value, should you […]

20 May 2016

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Jeff Koons: Showing The Love For Irony And Pseudo Philosophical Claptrap

The loads of people who know me as a boring old traditionalist (Turner Prize?! Yah boo hiss!) are always surprised when I say I actually love Jeff Koons. I really do, and enjoyed his new show, cleverly titled Now! at Damien Hirst’s gorgeously lovely wonderful awesome Newport Street Gallery. The reason being is that he […]

13 May 2016

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Turner Prize 2016 The Artbytch Verdict Is Out And WTF

This week Artbytch looks at the announcement of the shortlisted Turner Prize nominees for 2016.

6 May 2016

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V&A’s Bizarre Decision To Ban All Sketching At Undressed Is Pants

I know I’m a little late to the party here but several people have been asking me what I make of the V&A’s bizarre decision to ban all sketching at its exhibition on underwear. I’m perhaps not as outraged as some are at it, as I do harbour a controversial view that sketching in art galleries […]

8 April 2016

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Microsoft Rembrandt vs Microsoft Republican Candidate In Bad Toupee

The news of a new Rembrandt is bound to set tongues wagging. And any preconceived doubts about its authenticity are immediately allayed: it looks convincingly like any other Rembrandt. Actually, it’s a little too convincing, and if it looks like every other Rembrandt, that’s because that’s exactly what it is.  Arriving a little too late for April […]

25 March 2016

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Tracey Emin’s Unintentionally Unironic Zoolander-style Who Am I Quest

When learning of Tracey Emin’s decision to marry a rock of course the first thing the less charitable parts of our minds would be thinking will be along the lines of “well no one else would” or “someone has to”, etc. and other grumpy-expression shaming opinions. But I’ll leave that filmly unsaid, and instead ponder on […]

18 March 2016

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R. Crumb vs Allen Jones What A Lovely Pear And Other Double Entendres

A couple of years ago, for this very publication, I lambasted the Royal Academy for its Allen Jones retrospective, which applauded a career that unrelentingly and without deviation objectified women. The point which illustrates his latent misogyny is the fact that while his sculptures may have been seen as subversive to the general anti-woman culture of the 60s at the time, […]

11 March 2016

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Hashtag-Ironic: Banksy Geo-profiling Study A Big Fat Waste Of Funding

Did Shakespeare really write all those plays? I find myself not even caring that much whether he did, or was aided, or – as some who like to stir things up have suggested – he was actually someone else, someone different from the earring wearing fuzzy headed one we see in most portraits. What matters is that […]

4 March 2016

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Is Loving Vincent Yet Another Lousy Filmic Portrayal Of A Dead Artist?

I’m apprehensive of the announcement by Oscar winning Breakthru Animation studios of “the world’s first feature-length painted animation,” ‘Loving Vincent’. Over 100 artists trained to mimic the painterly style of Van Gogh will create one painting per frame, creating possibly the most long winded animation feature ever. It is set around 120 of his paintings, and […]

26 February 2016

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David Hockney: Brimming With Talent But Such A Miserable Git

I would love to say I’ve met David Hockney: I admire him enormously as a draughtsman, especially innumerable portraits capturing likeness with minimum effort and brush-stroke. He just can, and does, execute perfectly first time, which is an extremely rare gift (something Tracey Emin can only dream of). This is why he is worth celebrating, to […]

19 February 2016

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Museum Blockbusters: A Cat In A Mona Lisa Wig Could Have Done Better

The Noordbrabants Museum exhibition of Hieronymous Bosch – one of my favourite painters of bestial grotesque nastiness – is surely the ‘one of the most important exhibitions of this century’, gushes Jonathan Jones (The Guardian 11/02/2016). I seriously toyed with the idea of flying out to his tiny, unknown hometown city of ‘s-Hertogenbosch just to see it, […]

12 February 2016

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Fake Warhol Fake Rothko: Who Are The Losers Here

The issue of fakes is alluring headline fodder: what is it that is so compelling about forged artworks? Once could say it places greater emphasis on what makes the real deal a genuine article; though the limelight tends to fall on the fake works themselves, obscuring the original talent which it so brazenly tramples over. It […]

5 February 2016

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Damien Hirst: Another Basement Conversion In Hampstead And Other Tales

I‘ve spent many a year working in Knightsbridge and Belgravia, and the tell-tale signs of a cellar dig out – blocked off scaffolding with conveyor belts emerging into a skip – pop up like mushrooms in the area. The relative smallness of these works give no hint to just how massive the below caverns are becoming: […]

29 January 2016

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Oscars Row Highlights The Scarcity Of Successful Black Visual Artists

Last week we had Saatchi falsely bending to women artists, this week with the Oscars furore we look at another overlooked section of the population: it seems it takes a worthy film about slavery with plenty of ‘Issues’ being addressed in order to merit black artists (Steve McQueen in 2013), rather than, y’know, actually rewarding them for […]

15 January 2016

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Champagne Life: Let’s Pop A Cork And Celebrate Feminism

There’s something not quite right about the latest show at the Saatchi Gallery. Champagne Life is so named after one of featured artist, Julia Wachtel’s works: an ironic contrast between the glamorous exhibition opening and the long hours spent in a miserable studio. Or is it – more convincingly – simply brown nosing of the show’s […]

8 January 2016

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Beyond The Valley Of Caravaggio And Other Exhibitions To Bytch About

Happy New Year, bytches. Late in 2014 I began salivating over the announcement of the National Gallery’s autumn blockbuster for 2015 featuring no fewer than 70 Goya portraits. God it was wonderful. In 2015 galleries surprised me with some pleasant turns of ingenuity – I discovered obscure pastel genius Liotard at the Royal Academy, and my […]

29 December 2015

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A Year Of Blatant Art Consumerism Our 12 Days Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A partridge in an Ai Weiwei Tree  This year has been a sort of ‘homecoming’ for Ai Weiwei: with his passport returned galleries all around the UK welcomed his return with a flurry of activity, including a retrospective of his work at the […]

18 December 2015

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Art 2015 Sum-up: Lawsuits, Over Inflated Auctions And Cultural Armageddon

It’s been a year of everyone suing everyone else, grappling over intellectual property, and spending too much at the auctions. Only yesterday a dispatch box used by Maggie Thatcher sold for £200k plus commission at Christie’s, smashing its initial timid estimate of under £5,000. I watched the sale unfold in which a collective hysteria seemed […]

11 December 2015

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Christmas Art And Shopping And More F-ing Gift Shopping

I know I bytch a lot about how museums should remain free to enter, and how it’s not so bad to accept cash from a giant evil global oil conglomerate to achieve this goal. Also to this end – staying free that is – I’m even not against some good hard wringing of customer’s cash […]

4 December 2015

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Art Basel Miami The Black Friday Of All Art Fairs

What’s the difference between the art fairs of Miami Beach and Black Friday/Cyber Monday? The answer is, both are enormous shopping centres growing in size each year as new ‘retailers’ join the bandwagon, though while the latter is upfront about offering bargains and rockbottom prices, those that attend the former are also out to find […]

1 December 2015

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Artbytch Announces Her Best And Worst London Exhibitions Of 2015

Without doubt the best exhibition all year has been Goya: The Portraits at the National Gallery. What makes a great exhibition is a fantastic concept, executed with diligence and rigour. The National has achieved the rarity of finding a new angle through which to explore an otherwise heavily exposed artist. This is something that can […]

27 November 2015

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Osborne’s U-Turn On Arts Cuts Just A Sign Of The Times

We’re safe, it seems, for now. George Osborne has finally realised – or rather his aides have realised and quickly back peddled – that not only would the massive arts cuts we were all dreading would be a “false economy” (duh), but that the Tories would well and truly be in the shit when it […]

20 November 2015

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Paris The Mindless Culmination Of World Heritage Deniers

I’m for once at a loss as to where to start this week. How can one begin to wrap one’s mind around the spread and aggression of the IS atrocities, with the mindless culmination with last Friday’s attacks in Paris and Beirut? This is the desired effect: one of terror and confusion. It is a […]

23 October 2015

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Art Review Power 100: Time To End The Machiavellian Power List

Each October Art Review publishes its Power 100. A list that always reflects the power brokers of the art world, and not – sadly – its genuine power: that of true creative expression and its influence on our culture. This year international art dealers Iwan and Manuela Wirth have topped this year’s Power 100. The […]

16 October 2015

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Frieze Trends Point To The Death Of The White Cube

Super architects Caruso St John are enjoying a ton of publicity at the moment, with the dual opening of the shiny new Hirst gallery in Newport Street (gushed over by me last week) and now the new Gagosian gallery branch in Grosvenor Hill, where Russian money flows. Such fabulous architecture commissioned by Larry Gagosian demonstrates […]